


watch myself watchin' you

by vitane



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension, it's basically more robbe's pov during the trip, more insight into his thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitane/pseuds/vitane
Summary: His eyes linger on Robbe for a second or two more, his gaze heavy with all the unspoken things. Robbe desperately wants to hear him out, to continue from where they stopped when Luca interrupted them.But Sander only shakes his head and swims away.Or, how Robbe's fascination grows into a crush in a matter of a few days.
Relationships: Robbe Ijzermans/Sander Driesen
Comments: 5
Kudos: 136
Collections: Skam Belgium (Wtfock) ▶ Sander Driesen / Robbe Ijzermans





	watch myself watchin' you

**Author's Note:**

> it's nothing much but i rly wanted to get a bit more into robbe's head and felt like some scenes needed closure so here i am. hope u enjoy it!

i.

Robbe glances up at the sound of laughter coming from the porch. His eyes skim over the crowd gathered there and pause when they reach Sander. The boy throws his head back, amused at something Luca has said. The others join him, but Robbe doesn’t pay much attention to them.

He squints, partly at the scene and partly because he’s annoyed at himself. Ever since they’ve come back from grocery shopping, he hasn’t been able to take his mind off Sander. It’s strange, but something deep inside him tells him that it’s not completely unfamiliar.

He shifts on his feet uncomfortably. He’s focusing so much on Sander only because he’s never met him and his appearance has changed the whole air surrounding this getaway. He’s an addition to a group he’s already accustomed with. That’s the reason for Robbe’s anxiety and curiosity.

(Noor should be this way as well for him, being a new element in his life, but somehow it’s Sander who is keeping him on edge.)

He keeps replaying the moments from the supermarket and his cheeks grow warm. He snorts and shakes his head. How silly of him. This boy literally made him fall off the cart, but instead of angry, the memory makes him feel thrilled.

Robbe should think of Sander as weird, but the only word that comes to his mind when he looks at him is carefree. And God, how much Robbe would give to let himself loose at least a bit. He envies him even though he hardly knows Sander.

Someone wraps their arms around him and Robbe stills before forcing himself to relax.

“So you’re hiding here,” Noor says, nuzzling into his neck.

Robbe gulps and lets out a chuckle. “I’m not hiding,” he replies quietly. He hugs her back, thinking that that’s what he’s supposed to do and feels her smiling against his skin.

“Come on outside. The guys are being gross and you balance it out,” Noor says, exasperation audible in her voice. Robbe rolls his eyes.

“Wouldn’t expect anything else from them,” he mumbles, nudging her forward.

She looks up at him, her eyes full of light and smiles at him. He wishes he could look at her the same way.

Noor grabs him by the hand and leads him outside. Robbe takes a deep breath and pushes all of his confusing feelings aside.

He avoids looking at Sander for the rest of the night.

ii.

It’s hard to sleep by yourself, but it’s even harder when there are snoring people in the same room and someone insistently snuggling up against you. Robbe sighs and drags a hand down his face. He regrets not taking the couple’s room a bit, but then he remembers Noor’s efforts to get further with him and swallows this bitter feeling down.

He glances at her sleeping soundly on his chest and thinks to himself that it isn’t right. That they don’t know each other well enough to share this little space. He can’t breathe let alone think. It’s hysterical how he brought it upon himself. There’s literally no one else to blame.

The hours pass and he still feels restless. It’s all too much at once and Robbe needs to get out. Having his private space invaded every moment of the day is making him sick and this trip isn’t even halfway through. 

He looks at Noor again, at how comfortable she seems to be and desperately wishes for himself to be this fine sleeping with another person. But he can’t. He doesn’t know how and when he can move, his spine hurts from being in the same position for too long and he’s exhausted of being touched so much.

Robbe makes the decision on impulse. Trying to be gentle, he moves Noor off himself before leaving the bed. As quietly as possible, he gathers his clothes and leaves the room, wincing a bit when the door lets out a rather loud noise.

He puts the clothes on and walks out of the house without hesitation.

The night air gets rid of drowsiness that the lack of sleep caused. The further he is away from the house, the easier it is to breathe. To be honest, he doesn’t even want to think. He simply needs to get away from people or he will explode.

There are so many thoughts making his days hard that, for at least one night, he wants to rest. That’s why he takes out his headphones and soon enough, all he can hear is music numbing his worries.

He wanders around the beach for a long time. He watches the sky and the way it goes from almost pitch-black to grey with the hues of blue. And for a moment, Robbe feels like he’s the only person in the world. There are no divorced parents, no friends who don’t care, no Noor or a boy with white hair.

Just him and the sea. It soothes his nerves and by the time he’s walking back to the house, the last notes of “Under Pressure” fading into nothingness in his headphones, Robbe feels weightless.

He steps into the house calmer than before and the scent of fresh coffee only adds up to this. His head shoots up and he looks towards the kitchen. Robbe’s heart changes its rhythm when his eyes meet Sander’s.

He takes his headphones off in a daze and sends him a crooked smile.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sander asks, his voice rough in the early morning hour.

Robbe shrugs, hanging his jacket by the door.

“Me neither. The bed’s not comfortable,” Sander says, his voice tinted with amusement. “Coffee?” The corners of his mouth curve up and Robbe blinks slowly.

He thought that he’d catch a few hours of sleep before everyone wakes up, sure that he’s tired enough not to mind Noor by his side, but all of a sudden, coffee sounds much more appealing.

“Sure,” he lets out, walking towards the kitchen.

iii.

Bleached hair, pretentious about his music and on top of that an art student. Sander couldn’t be more of a cliché. And the worst of it all? None of these things put Robbe off. Quite the opposite. He finds himself wanting to talk with Sander, to propose another trip to the supermarket where it’s only the two of them.

He tells himself that it’s because he doesn’t have friends like this and maybe getting to know him would kill some of his curiosity. That’s the only reason his eyes stray away towards Sander every occasion he gets.

That’s why he looks away each time Sander looks back.

They’ve exchanged a handful of words since Saturday and every time it happened, no matter how brief it was, a part of Robbe was craving for more. He just doesn’t know how to get that.

And if he checks his hair every single time he’s about to hang out with the rest, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

iv.

Noor kisses him hard, her teeth grazing over his lips and Robbe uses all of his willpower not to push her away. At times, he doesn’t mind kissing her. Mostly he just doesn’t feel anything, but then a moment will come when things are heading in a direction he’d rather avoid and that’s when his whole body becomes repulsed by the mere notion of being touched by her.

It was a bad idea to stay in the room when it’s empty.

He places a gentle hand against her chest and pulls away. Her pupils are dilated when she looks at him in question. Robbe knows he can’t make up excuses forever, but maybe this once she will let it slide.

“I need to piss,” he says, embarrassed. She huffs and gets off him.

“Seriously, you know how to kill the mood,” she whines, but she doesn’t sound angry. Maybe a bit annoyed.

“Sorry,” Robbe mumbles. And he is. Just not for this.

He leaves her, promising to come back as soon as possible all the while thinking of a reason as to why he won’t.

This time the universe works in his favour because the bathroom turns out to be occupied. He lets out a sigh of relief and leans against the wall next to the door. He takes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through it lazily, liking a few posts and saving a couple of memes for later.

Just as he’s clicking “sent” on a quick check-up message to his mom, the bathroom door opens and he’s hit with a wave of heat.

He looks up from his phone and his throat goes dry. He doesn’t let his eyes linger on Sander’s chest for too long, safely staring at his flushed face.

Sander gazes back at him for a few long seconds before he nods at him.

“Hey, man,” he says and without waiting for a reply, brushes past Robbe, leaving him completely dazzled.

Robbe watches him go, clutching his phone to his chest and swallows when Sander eventually disappears from his line of sight.

v.

The thing is, he just can’t look away. He tries to be as subtle as possible when he catches himself in the act, but that’s about it. He keeps stealing glances at Sander even when Sander is kissing Britt and it leaves Robbe feeling uneasy.

There’s just something about Sander that keeps drawing Robbe in until it’s too late. He wants to keep looking, learning his mannerisms and expressions. The way he talks and laughs or moves is slowly etching itself into Robbe’s memory and he’s pretty sure that he’d be able to pick Sander out on the street by studying him so much.

They don’t talk aside from a few words here and there, but every time their eyes meet a shudder goes down Robbe’s spine. No touch or kiss from Noor has elicited as much as eye contact with Sander has in the last few days.

Robbe is scared of the meaning behind it so he lets himself drown without thinking about it. He abandons any logic, choosing this tangible and unsure thing forming between them instead.

Their hands touch and Robbe is on fire. He wants Sander to burn him.

vi.

With how the things have been slowly escalating lately, it’s no surprise that a small thing ticks Robbe off and he lets his feelings out in front of everyone. All he needed was a push and when the boys pull this ridiculous prank on him, it’s enough.

He only regrets that it happens with people he hasn’t wanted to be vulnerable in front of. 

He slams the door of the couple’s room behind himself and locks it for a good measure. He’d rather be alone than have Jens coming in and telling him to calm down and take it easy. Robbe, for once, doesn’t want to do that. He’s tired, confused and simply upset.

His friends don’t give a shit, he has to keep forcing himself to like Noor and he may or may not be into someone he shouldn’t be. It’s way too fucking much to handle all at once and Robbe starts pacing in the small space the room offers.

He should have run off to the beach, it’d calm his nerves better. But he can’t leave now. He can’t pass by everyone and act as though he isn’t crumbling.

He falls down on the bed in defeat and presses the heels of his palms to his face, taking ragged breaths in. This whole situation is ridiculous and there’s so much pent up frustration in him he doesn’t know what to do with.

Robbe is so angry and he’s no longer sure who he’s angry at. His parents for making him feel miserable, the boys for leaving him out and not giving a fuck. Sander for popping out of nowhere and turning his world upside down with only a few moments together.

And maybe, most of all, himself.

There are so many reasons for Robbe to be furious about, but in the end, he feels more lost and sad than anything else.

Someone knocks at the door and he peeks an eye open.

“Robbe, it’s me, Noor.” Her voice is muffled, but he can still hear the worry in it.

He wants to laugh. The girl he’s just started dating is more concerned about his outburst than the people he’s known for years.

“Is everything okay? Will you let me in?” she asks.

As much as he appreciates the offer, she’s the last person he wants to be confronted by. He doesn’t need more self-loathing at the moment.

“I want to be alone for a while,” Robbe says, hoping that she won’t press.

Noor stays quiet for a few moments as if she was hesitating and then she replies, “Okay. I’ll let them know that you’re taking the room tonight. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

She’s gone afterwards and Robbe breathes with relief.

After all, he ends up sleeping in the couple’s room but he doesn’t fall asleep next to Noor and for the first time since this trip has started, he doesn’t feel restrained by his own stupid decisions.

The sounds of Bowie lull him to sleep.

vii.

Everyone acts as if nothing happened and Robbe feels both content and frustrated because of it. It’s an odd mixture. He doesn’t want to talk about his feelings, knowing how his friends have been brushing him off lately, but it’s also infuriating that no one mentions it. As if they didn’t treat it seriously. Maybe they don’t.

Robbe is on edge for the whole day and speaks very little, too caught up in his own head. Perhaps it’s all of that and the things that have been haunting him for days or even weeks that make him so eager to prove something to Sander during that party. He doesn’t understand himself and the way he’s acting, but he understands Sander’s responses less.

It’s the first time he’s left breathless after kissing Noor and it’s not because of her. It’s because he is challenged.

(And when he closes his eyes, he imagines someone completely different kissing him.)

He can’t stop sending looks to Sander for the rest of the night, wanting answers he won’t get.

He went from being simply curious about Sander to wanting to befriend him and now he wants to kiss him. And knowing him, the last thing has been the goal from the very beginning. Robbe feels nauseous because of it but it also might be the alcohol he’s drunk during the party.

Sander doesn’t do anything else, aside from a glance once in a while and Robbe wonders if it’s all been in his head. They don’t interact any more than that and Robbe swallows around the lump in his throat when Sander and Britt take the couple’s room for the night. It’s all a blur after that and before he knows it, Robbe is back in his bed, Noor’s arm slung across his chest and his eyes glued to the wall they share with Sander and Britt.

God, he’s in so much trouble.

viii.

He doesn’t know what prompts him to be so daring, to almost kiss Sander by the dumpsters and say all those things, but he regrets it a little when Sander acts like he’s made of thin air later that day. Robbe wants his eyes on himself, wants his attention. Especially after everything that’s happened this morning.

Sander wouldn’t have leaned in if it all was only in Robbe’s head. Right? But now he won’t get his answer because the trip is ending, they’re coming back home and he won’t see Sander again. He should feel relieved, but in truth, he wishes he could stop time.

His eyes trace Sander’s silhouette in the water, the way his muscles shift with his every movement and Robbe lets out a shaky exhale through his nose.

Everyone is having fun in the pool and he’s waiting for Sander to notice him back. To let him know that what’s happened was real.

Noor sprays him with water, snapping him out of his thoughts. He scowls at her, making her laugh. She throws her arms around his neck and mouths at his jaw. His palms wander to her hips on instinct by now.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” she asks, her voice filled with joy.

He’s still looking at Sander when he says, “Yeah.”

Sander’s head moves and Robbe’s gaze drops. He wants to lock his eyes with Sander’s but not like this. Not anymore.

Noor places a few kisses over his neck and Robbe can’t wait to have a few days away from all of this.

“Hey, don’t forget that it’s a public pool,” Sander’s voice sounds much closer than Robbe last remembers him be and his gaze shoots up.

He must have swum over when Robbe wasn’t paying attention.

There’s something unreadable in Sander’s eyes the longer they hold eye contact and Noor stays clinging onto Robbe. It makes Robbe move away from her, his face sheepish when she sends him a quizzical look.

Noor looks over to Sander, who looks less on edge now, and smiles teasingly at him.

“You’re one to speak. You and Britt have been glued to each other all the time,” she says and winks at him.

The air around them is awkward, but Noor seems unaware of it.

Sander lets out a chuckle and shrugs. “Guilty as charged,” he says and his smile seems strained around the edge. He looks at Robbe again and it’s almost like wants to add something more, but decides against it in the last moment.

His eyes linger on Robbe for a second or two more, his gaze heavy with all the unspoken things. Robbe desperately wants to hear him out, to continue from where they stopped when Luca interrupted them.

But Sander only huffs and swims away.

Noor props her arm up on Robbe’s shoulder and leans against him. “I think he’s jealous because apparently, Britt is giving him the cold shoulder,” she whispers.

Robbe’s still staring when he says, “Yeah, that must be it.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments r appreciated!
> 
> you can find me @joyridee and @vitanes on tumblr


End file.
